While the name Joy was given to me, I’ve had to actively choose to find joy for the past three years of my life. 

At Iowa State University I met a great group of friends at a party. Among them was a sweet and silly boy who slowly became my best friend. Our after-class adventures soon became ice cream dates while the question of “could we be more than friends?” lingered in my mind. We started dating and suddenly everything made sense.

After a fun four years at Iowa State he returned home to the family farm and start a retail beef business. Growing up in the eastern part of the state, the most I knew about western Iowa was that Omaha was nearby. So when I found a job at a local creative agency in the town over, I felt like I hit the lottery. I had it all. The boy, the job, and the future at my fingertips.

That future was ripped from me in an instant when he was killed in an accident just two weeks after we started our new life. He was the kindest man I had ever met and I will remember him until I see him again.

Losing someone I loved at a young age taught me that joy is different than happiness. Joy does not solely exist when everything is going right. Joy is a soulful knowing that your hope is anchored in something greater than yourself. Joy holds up the tent when life caves in on you. You have to hunt down joy in the dark corners of grief and in a world that doesn’t stop to let you catch up. 

The smile of a newborn baby, seeing people resurface at church, watching a small business grow… these blessings all become so much bigger when you’re faced with the starkness of what truly matters in life.

I hope you learn to choose joy, because it is always there. You just have to look for it.